DON'T WAIT FOR AN I'M SORRY

"The earlier you admit to your mistakes the more time you would have to learn and grow from them.-Edmond Mbiaka"

Do you wait for an "I'm Sorry!" before you forgive someone who has wronged you? 

Does it make you feel bad and hurt right in the kokoro (japanese for heart) when someone fails to say sorry after they've hurt you? 

I'm not quite sure about this, but I think most of us are so hard-wired about the concept of the word "sorry" as a requirement for forgiveness. 

Today, I came to think that there are people who wants forgiveness because something they've done wrong and intends to never do it again but couldn't actually say sorry. So, I made a quick inquiry into this modern premise. 

etymonline.com says that the word "sorry" originally came from the following words: 

Sarig (old english)- distressed, grieved, full of sorrow

Sairiga (Proto Germanic/Old German)- full of sore

Sairaz (Swedish)-physical & mental pain

Saira-suffering

And somehow being able to come across the words above, it all makes sense to me. This must be the reason why sometimes, when people say "sorry" we never feel the relief in the expression. 

And for most of the time, when someone says sorry but tries to justify their mistake, we aren't convinced of their apology. Verbalizing the word "I'm sorry" might speak more of  appeasing the guilty person distressed feelings rather than the intention to release forgiveness and get over feeling upset of the wrong they did. 

I now have this logical orientation that the word "sorry" is an expression of a person who feels uneasy. We say sorry to make us feel better when we've done something wrong to others. In other words the word sorry is not for the person who had been a victim but rather is more beneficial for the perpetrator. 

On the other hand, victims have the power to release forgiveness for their own peace.  

As a Christian, I tried to look up if there were any instances in the bible when God said we had to be sorry, or say sorry, but to no avail I reserve this concept for a later discussion.

Meanwhile, I probe deeper into my mind and ask the question:

when we are wronged, do we actually intend for the other person to be sorry or guilty? 

or do we want them to just admit the mistake they did? 

Does a plain "I'm sorry" give us comfort or a confession sounds better?

The Lord hasn't mentioned about saying the word "sorry"  in order for us to receive forgiveness, rather, he told us to confess our sins for our healing. 

"But if we confess our sins to God, he will keep his promise and do what is right: he will forgive us our sins and purify us from all our wrongdoing. (1 John 1:9)"

The next time we feel bad about something that upsets us, maybe, we can work on being ready to release forgiveness rather than waiting for a sorry. Our joy rests in our ability to release ourselves of  from cuffs of negativity that the enemy ties us with.  Break free from the lie that you have to hear an I'm sorry to be happy. God has set a feast table before you, so, indulge. 

The next time we realize we did something wrong, it might be normal for us to be uneasy but let us remind ourselves that it is pure human nature to be wrong and it is okay. We can say sorry but we will find release the moment we admit we were wrong about what we've done. 

We will never learn to do these things overnight, do not worry, you are a work in progress! My prayer goes out to everyone struggling to forgive and asking for forgiveness. We are all humans, we can be wrong so many times, but it is only God who sees your heart--above all things, it is His judgement that matters. 

Stay ANNspired! 

Sha <3